Put Your House in Order: Nìndaumire Mithiri

By now you must be wondering what the second phrase means,
n I will faithfully tell you...
'Nìndaumire Mithiri' is a statement made in my tribe usually with a sense of finality...
It brings out the experience that the Biblical Israelites had in slavery while in Egypt and their liberation as Moses led them out of Egypt...
In essence, the period of trials and temptations in the biblical story and its end are used symbolically to bring out the fact that an individual's particular period of hardship ended and is now not a part of the person...
The direct translation however is, 'I left Egypt'...


So now you must be wondering where I am going with this and I will tell you...

I am at a point in my life where I have learnt that life is not as conventional as we would like to think it is, all with well established experiences, methods and styles lived by the book...

Actually, I am tempted to use nìndaumire Mithiri, to reassure myself that I have made a decision to be happy, to have trouble be gone from me, to associate myself only with situations that bring out the best in me...n you would be surprised at how many times this decision has been made lately in this grown up world of mine...

and I think I lie to myself...

Let me work with a short period of my life to bring this out of the dark...

As I completed my high school education, fresh, young and naive, though I still am to a certain extent, I stepped into the big bad wolf world with a set of values that I believed in, a set of guidelines that I faithfully 'went by', a certain air of "I am immovable, unshakable"...
but here's the thing, how sure was I that I was all these things and more,
really, what test had I sat for to prove that certain things were valid,
to prove that actually, Ivory, does stand by certain principles...

So here comes Mr. wolf as big and bad as he is or in sheep's clothing depending on the weather and you know what...it was time to test how deep the so called waters ran with this young life ...
It was time for ideas and things in the mind to evolve into reality...

My first instinct was the usual, I shall not be moved, n because I finally realised that it was at my door I told myself that I was not ready to dance with the big bad wolf and do note, while still jiggling,
then came the long hard fall into the reality that I had gotten onto that dance floor,
then the adaptation,
then finally accepting that I was on that dance floor, catching up with those moves, and creating some of my own to keep up with the motions....
Within no time I was ready to upgrade from acquiring life skills to applying life skills and finding their credibility...
and here comes the part that gives me a chill down the spine...
My life skills were then tested in an environment that stood against what I stood for at the beginning of this show and tell...

Without taking you round in circles further, I will just say what I am saying...

Life brings out the best in you by showing you your strengths in action, it proves to you beyond reasonable doubt that you have a purpose and that you have a reason and a special means of surviving just by you still having that breath of life...

Life does not show you one lonely boring road to follow, it gives you the pleasure of finding yourself there with a bag full of cool tricks, satisfaction and belief in more than just the road but in the incorporation of the nature of your very being with the journey and the road...

I end by saying, in my journey..I believe in God my Creator and Father in Heaven,
He gave me a purpose in my formation, and He placed me in a world rich with different beings each with their own purpose...and in all the world, all the world meaning its diversity in experiences and situations, my purpose has to come out strong just as each and everyone else's has to,
and here's the thing, that is a goal that we all have to achieve by being successful at getting our environment as it is to work for us...

So, by saying you have left Egypt, are you living in the illusion that you are rid of troubles, or that you have found a way to tame them as they come to work for you in your journey towards a greater goal?


Let us reason together more, shall we?

Put Your House in Order; My Start

Today, I am faced with the challenge of internalizing this statement
'Put Your House in Order'
It's come to me at a time when, well everything exists barely consciously in my thoughts
the ought to dos, the ought not to dos, the happening and the what's not happening..

See, am faced with the challenge of understanding that am not here by chance..
faced with the realization that the experienced were not born experienced
that, well you know, no one will live my life and my strengths for me..
no one will discover me for me...

So here I am, feeling less than I know I should be feeling,
feeling like I should be knowing more than I know,
that with the places where life has taken me, I should have developed more than I have..

n the funny thing is, I know me, this might not necessarily motivate my first step towards it,
it might not have me chasing my dreams incessantly,
it might just stir up a little bit of unrest within me, get me bothered for a little while,
and um, soon it's written on a to do list and tucked away at the back of my mind, somewhere where after I have 'lived' for a little while, I will come back and demand for some more emotional distress...

sigh, Ivory...
you need to know that life does not begin with a painted on canvas...



there is getting the canvas, the brushes, the paint, the stand,
the mind, the hand, the ideas, the emotion...
the motivation, the inspiration, that first stroke of paint,
that little wrong stroke that refines the right stroke,
there's the time, the critic, the right illumination..
oh the stories..

n what you need to realise is that just like how that whole list of requirements looks,
that's how jumbled up the basket of starting points looks like,
and every individual will reach in for their own and work towards the fulfilled goal the best way they know how..
you'll start by wanting motivation, another the inspiration, another by having that brush, another by just knowing that the canvas needs to be painted on...

don't mind my jumbled words, but..You Ivory, you are the one that stops yourself from taking what you have now and running with it...

you say you should have, it would have been better if you had, tomorrow I will, I will gear myself to...what about now Ivy? How have you got now covered?

Here's the situation darling, today you live that decision that will be creating the 'I should have' troubled situation tomorrow...
Today you live what you never would have yesterday, n what is not for tomorrow...

Am Being Tried

I won't agree to be defeated !!
Not this time!!
I refuse to go back to that dreadful place!!

One Deep Breath for My Inner Team

I shall not self destruct
I shall pick myself up straighten my pretty skirt and soar
Better still I shall stay in touch with my Father
He knows this path, He knows how I will get there

I shall learn where I won't need to follow
I shall brave the path I tend to think I shouldn't follow
better still my Father grants His wisdom
He who made me, owns this life I lead

so I write as I realise
that am not done undergoing training in that area
but He watches over me so am good to go..
always have been even when I didn't know it...
now to buckle up a bit tighter
and to work a litul smarter wit each and every step...

wow, um, *one deep breath for my inner team*

I Rise

This morning, I think about life
and I embrace my journey, a journey I alone can take...
n I make a conscious choice to live my own life, n live it like only I can...

I accept my takes and mistakes coz I made them..
I accept my strengths and flaws for I know how I live with them...

and I acknowledge His purpose in my living and breathing...
and keep in mind that all glory and all honour be unto He that formed me
He whose greatness exceeds human understanding....

and He calls me His child...
so I rise....

Simply, I will break away...

You torment my being,
as you defy sweet absolutes
You and I gotten into replay over and over,
each turn somewhat revamped
I on and on, frustrated that you won't be gone from me
but dawn comes, when darling,
simply, I will break away...

Grow my baby Grow

I do wonder where to begin
as I talk about my baby
as I reach out to life
to make clear what it's all about

See, 'been blessed to nurse my babies
some strengthened their wings and flew
some right under my wing
but right now, I speak of one baby

He walked in with this mystery
I fought hard cause in history
nothing quite like it came up
nothing that brought more ambiguity

So we walked with my baby
passed time with my baby
to baby or was he my baby
too troublesome be my baby

So as I write and speak in oblivion
my baby? or, my baby?
I speak peace into his life
I speak direction into his life
I speak God's presence in his life
and as each page unfolds, all I'll say
is grow my baby grow!!!

It's funny how it all seems new

So today I just had to get it written
It's funny how it all seems new
When it's been a reality in our generation and that before us
Two days now it's sunk in deep
who knew that life lessons could easily fade

As you go about making the right decisions
It's funny how it all seems new
That over the years as you curve out your path
You could distance yourself from certain lessons
After all you wouldn't stumble upon it
It's on a road you choose not to take

Your lifestyle shapes your cares
ain't it funny how it all seems new
We talk about broken hearts and betrayal
We worry about what it does to how we feel
But could we really forget one lesson
One lesson that could shape one care

So I sit and amuse and amaze
it is funny how it all seems new
A single roam a crowded bed
A crowded bed a well of possibilities
Possibility of an irreversible journey

Funny however lies not in the irreversible journey
in my amazement that it all seems new
We choose what we bother to choose
We ignore what we are not bothered ignoring
Yet we live in a world where it is all played out

I earnestly pray for a solution to be found
I thank our good Lord when it does not come our way
I thank Him more because there is more to life regardless
however, today....
I amaze at how it is so easy to forget
I amaze at how it all seems new...

To love as I live

In a world,
where we see and perceive,
where we choose and refuse,
where we hold and let go,
I aspire, to love as I live...

In a world,
where it rains and shines,
where birds fly and sing,
where wind whistles and blows,
I live, to love as I live...

In this world,
ever-growing, ever-changing,
twists and turns, turbulating,
elevation and humbling,
I endeavour, to love as I live...

In this world,
where I live and breathe,
where I love as am loved,
expectations and demands,
disappointed and hurt,
excited and uplifted,
confused and torn,
hopeful and determined,
ambition and chance...
I purpose, to love as I live...

Each Day

A life to live,
A goal to achieve,
Twenty four hours to see through..
Each day...

Each day...
A story to tell,
some history to make,
as we build and break..

How we hope and dream,
How we think and feel,
How we share and reach out to..
Each day...

Each day...
Empowered to live,
Empowered to believe,
Empowered to be free..