Lest We Forget...

I have had a queer opportunity to reflect,
on thoughts that I felt were way behind me now,
n it's funny how it all came right back,
I met one more you in this place...

I got so mad and discouraged,
so disappointed cause, I thought it was all gone,
I lit the flames that would burn all memories,
I was beyond those trying times...

Luckily, I had an ear that heard me loud and clear,
God bless that ear of compassion and insight...

But it didn't stop there,
something more as always was brewing within me...

So as I bring it to a summary, my message is, incase we forget...
My encounter with you was not in vain...
I still believe that people do not meet by chance...
I learnt how far I can stretch, I got to know many of my limits...

See previously, I lived in a bubble in love,
Where in my mind there were no greys, just black or white...
I'd think to myself how coming and going was a spark of the moment affair...

Well I was tested and tried...

In my mind I lack patience, but in action I can wait...
In my mind it's my way or the high way, in action I can accomodate...
In my mind I cannot tolerate, in action I can think in another's shoes...
In this very mind I might think of just I, but am glad that now I know and am comfortable, that his wellbeing can come before mine...

I discovered, learnt or re-learnt, patience, forgiveness, tolerance, perseverence, compassion...
discovered the true nature of the fragile beings that dwell within us...
I perhaps became more passionate in reality, no longer in dreams....
Meeting you was not in vain, I learnt and grew too...

My other message, dear life, once so strange...

Never was it a failure on anyone's part, just a struggle through a journey through which we had to grow...
and we might sometimes look back with cries, tears or pain, but the sooner we accept that we had to grow, the sooner we will move on to the greater things ahead..

So my dear, take good care of your heart,
take good care of yourself,
people are different and you might not get the same results across the board...
"The past is gone, there's nothing you can do about it, you've got to start from now,", says one great professor we have in this place.

So I hope that none of us tries too hard to rewrite history,
I hope that none of us begins to live in history with the hope that it might correct things long gone wrong,
I hope that we do not believe that we can make ourselves whole by living in the memory of long sailed ships,
I hope for a better and healthy tomorrow...
I hope we find satisfaction in knowing that we live to learn and that we lean on the undertanding that tomorrow is a new day...

Put your house in order, my sequel...

Signed, with love in eros

1 Corinthians 13:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


I have sought for the definition of love, though not far & wide, but long and intensely enough to realise that well, this love does 'work a number' on the best of us...
The best of us being relative to the angle in which this love is perceived...
Where love's existence has been challenged, where love was found, where love was lost, where love is hoped for, where love is fought for, where love has descended and received blows, where love is a fear, where love is a myth, where love is ...name it...
It has 'worked a number' on the best of us with an un-matched momentum...

Many are the times when I wonder whether I will ever truly live this so called love...
Live in the sense that not only knowing that it exists, not only knowing the beautiful qualities of 'lady love', (and I am in no way trying to insinuate that love is female, though if we went down that road I might put up a top notch performance in support... =)) flow of thought return!...um, not only tasting a few fruits in the name of love, but having the privilege of saying I have fallen in love real good and I am living it, and I am loving it...

I have learnt a thing or two along the way as I anticipate this haven...
That love knows no standards, but is in itself a standard,
That love is not a walk in walk out affair, but it can descend upon you with diligence,
That love is not unhealthy, but it can make you sick to the stomach just as it makes you come alive,
That love withstands the test of time,and the tests of time,
That it is a manifestation of the condition of your spirit,
Love remains constant in its definition, but takes the shape of the nature of its vessel...
n best of all that love can be fully understood once its Author has been understood; God is love, and to love like He loves...is something worth the effort as you make a conscious choice to tango with this love

I think my point is, I am tired


I am tired, and at the moment, I care not to check up on my 'love count'
I don't know whether am tired of being in love, or of not being in love..
Do I really understand what love is anyway, even before I think of it in eros, am I ready for it, groomed for it?
What am I doing?
n can't I just, you know, just find myself in it all, faultless and pure love, once and for all without all this hustle and bustle
truth be told I have lost touch with clarity about it...n I am tired

I do not want to think about it, I do not want to struggle with it, don't get me wrong I won't fight it, but I won't put my mind into it any more...I don't want to keep making myself less whole as I consciously wallow in scrutiny, I don't want hints of it, weighs and measures, 'what if's and what if not-s', 'maybes and maybe not-s', 'let's see-s', 'is it real-s', 'is he true-s', 'do I-s'
I think I no longer want to figure out whether it has come in its real form...
I would really like to finally live the definition I begun with in this post...n yes, at the intended time, and with my one

I think the time has come for me to want to just love and be loved plain and simple, no questions asked...

AT A CROSSROADS

It seems like I get my inspiration to write when I am under some form of pressure...
But, today, today I will work with just being alive and happy that the sun is out,am at peace...
Let's see how that goes

Well, what happens when you are at a crossroads???


Speaking of which, I have just stumbled upon a quote online, by Anthony Robbins, I think...

It reads, “You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully.”



n, you know what, it pretty much sums up anything, and everything I might have wanted to hear about my question...

Then again, I think it's not that simple... What happens when your indecisiveness, is in a boxing ring with your fear of the unknown, your comfort zone and your destiny all at the same time...huh?
What happens when, you are tied, but then again, you are not tied...in that the situation calls for decisiveness, but the environment in which you've got to make your decision has got a lot more going on than just your input...

Yea, I know that to a certain extent, this might just read excuses, excuses... but... what if? huh, what if??